Bluegrayhazel

Daddy: Little Face, why did you eat your banana like this?

Little Face: I don’t like the bones.

Daddy: Oh…

So, the biggest recent news is that Little Face has a new cousin! We’re very excited about the new addition who lives so far away. We hope we’ll see her and her big brother and sister again soon!

Back in the immediate vicinity we’ve begun to pretend that the schizophrenic mid-Atlantic weather here doesn’t matter, and we’ve gone multi-tasking-granola, combining exercise with our errands. The payoff? She takes much better naps. And a smaller carbon footprint is a nice bonus.

Out on a grocery run.

This is the part when Daddy takes care of checking out and the girls get to look at glossy mags.

Mom and Dad we’re lagging from the load of groceries on their backs. That bike needs a basket.

The other week-end, we got a special visit from Little Face’s auntie and her BFF, Monkey. Auntie is a knitting fool, so we went with to check out the Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival, where the girls got to pet sheep, alpacas, and llamas - both skinned and breathing kinds.

Little Face loves a fizzy drink - this may have been the first taste of sarsaparilla.

For Auntie’s birthday, we all agreed to run for her. Mommy ran in a relay with Auntie, while Little Face and Monkey had a fun run of their own. They came away with really flash medals and lots of cool swag.

Little Face loves the athletic wear. This is a post-race trek to get pizza and Italian ice for dinner. And the girls did sleep very well, thanks.

Still working on the kettle corn from the Sheep Festival.

More multi-tasking

As of last Friday, no cavities once again!

When she’s not looking perfectly quiet like this, she’s asking for her new favorite music:

Sing along with Little Face. Her most requested are:

7 8 9

Pollywog in a Bog

Popcorn

Allergies

One Everything

High Five

Seven

Seven Days of the Week (I Never Go To Work)

Have a great Memorial Day week-end!

It’s not over yet…

“I like to get up early. I like to stay up all night. I DON’T like sleeping or dreaming. That’s all I DON’T like. No dreaming, no sleeping, and No Relaxing. Just playing and fussing and walking around.”

Little Face: Daddy I’m a little girl kangaroo **hop, hop**

Daddy: Wow, you’re a great kangaroo

Little Face: Can you open the door for the little girl kangaroo?

Daddy: My hands are full; please open the door yourself

Little Face: Daddy, kangaroos can’t open doors - they can just punch out! **punch, punch**

Little Face, coming home from school, describing a page of things that start with Q: a queen… a quiz… a quilt… a Q-cock…

Mommy: A what??

Little Face: A Q-cock.

Puzzled silence.

Mommy: Is that a bird?

Little Face: Yes.

Mommy: Um, like a peacock?

Little Face: Yes.

Mommy: Do you mean a quail?

Little Face: Oh, yes. A quail.

Apparently, they discussed the bird on page P earlier.

Over dinner, Little Face asks: Is this chicken from restaurant?

Mommy: No. Does it taste like it’s from a restaurant?

Little Face: No. It tastes like it’s from a chicken.

Here she is testing out the wonders of reflected sound.

Description of a no-good character in a story:

Little Face: He’s a bottom.

Daddy: A bottom?

LF: He doesn’t do anything good.

Daddy: Oh, you mean a bum.

~~~

Mommy: How am I supposed to comb your hair if you’re running away?

Little Face: You have to get a longer arm so you can reach me.

~~~

Noticing golf on the television:

Is that… Tiger… Bushes? (Tiger Woods)

~~~

Noticing Tiger Woods another day:

Is that… Tiger Wooshes?

~~~

Auto-narration overheard from an adjacent room: ‘Sit, Uzi’ she said to her dog.”

~~~

Mommy calling Daddy’s phone.

Little Face answers: Helloooooo!

M: Hi, Little Face! Are you getting ready for school?

LF: Mm, hm…

M: What did you have for breakfast?

Silence.

M: Did you eat breakfast?

Silence.

M: Little Face.

Silence.

M: Little Face?

Silence.

M: Little Face!

LF: What?

M: Turn off the television.

LF: You can hear it?

M: Yes. Turn it off.

LF: But Daddy said I could watch a little more.

M: You can watch a little more when you’re done talking to me.

LF: I’m done talking to you.

(Overlapping) M: Hang on.

LF: I’ll let you go.

Amazed quiet combined with Little Face’s television trance. But, after a minute, she was lucid enough to bid a loving good-bye and still relay Mommy’s message to Daddy before cutting her mother off the line.

~~~

While Daddy was watching a recap of one of the Democratic presidential nominee debates, Little Face points to Hillary Clinton and, with a scrunched up nose, asks, “Who is that? She sounds like a tiger. A bad tiger.” Daddy stifles laughter.

Daddy: Huh, interesting observation. (pointing to Barack Obama) What do you think about him?

Little Face: He’s just a guy. A normal guy. (back to Hillary Clinton) What’s her name?

D: Her name is Hillary Clinton.

LF: mumble, mumble, mumble…

D: What was that?

LF: (kind of under her breath) She has a nasty name…

D: (more internal chuckling) Little Face, why do you say that? Did you hear that somewhere?

LF: No, but someone WILL say it.

So, we all know how Little Face loves to cook, how she’ll do anything to help in the kitchen, right? I’ve let her into everything she can possibly do - mixing, grating, stirring, whisking, even washing up all of the plastic storage dishes by hand. Still she won’t be happy until she’s done the chopping and stood in front of bubbling pots at the cooker. (Yeah, we’ll file that under Dream On.)

So to appease her desire to observe technique without being spattered I’ve preempted her dinner-prep time shows of cheeky kids for the Food Network. Insert choirs singing here. It’s so brilliant; not only do the chefs not impart sassy attitude she can try out on us like even those Disney tweens have done (that’s right, I said Disney), but she is so satisfied to see how they work. Yeah, she may just be mesmerised by the infinitely larger studio kitchen the way her mother usually is, but she is totally rapt for 30 solid minutes. This glorious time allows the parents to prepare a proper meal for the empress without fear of injury, and no one has to feel guilty over less-than-worthy food or time looking at inappropriate telly. Everyone wins!

Now, let’s look at two more ways this change has affected the household:

1. We seem to be hearing less objections to foods. The TV cooks get so excited about the glorious textures and colors of so many foods and vegetables that we rarely have to convince her that she has already tried - and really does like - certain foods.

2. She’s really begun to hone her teaching and dramatic skills. Whilst playing in the Play Doh, she turned on her cook-slash-TV-presenter persona and concocted dish after dish for me. “First, I’m going to make a lasagna. I’m going to put this in first, then these on top… Now I’ll just put this in the oven for about thirty minutes - it is going to be So Good… Now I’m taking it out of the oven. And I’m going to make this into a sandwich. Here’s some for you…” all this while she’s rearranging dishes and ingredients and wiping her hands on her hips intermittently. There was a whole lot of Rachael Ray’s influence apparent, but that’s not too surprising since her shows are usually on during our dinner-prep. Still you could catch some of Giada Delaurentis in the performance, too. Now, the male chefs, like Bobby Flay and Tyler Florence, do not get the same respect from Little Face. We’ll have to switch things up, maybe run recordings of Jamie Oliver. His children may help hold her attention long enough to give him a chance.

We guess we should have seen this coming, considering her flair for drama. It was there quite early, right about when she would have been aware of manipulation. She would turn an ordinary crying episode into a real scene, complete with the back of her hand to her forehead. We wised up once we caught her peeking for reactions. She still got her cuddles and soothing, but we could tell she’d moan on longer than was necessary. Once she’d begun to talk, but still before she was really listening for a response, she’d turn any simple request immediately into a desperate, breathless plea. “Can I hab water? Water? Water?! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaterrrrrrrrr.” We are so thankful that phase ended.

There is virtually nothing about her dramatic practices that is unmanageable now. She still hams it up and is always studying her faces and expressions in mirrors, which does slow up any washing or dressing process with her, but with the hilarity that’s resulted, these exercises have an obvious purpose. She’s working on her timing now. It appears her exposure to Mr. Bean and BBC comedies on PBS has given her a rather dry sense of humor. She goes after puns and the deadpan more than physical kind of comedy. The following, if it translates, is her latest attempt:

Little Face : … And then Mr. B poured baby powder all over himself. It was all over the floor and all over his arms and All Over His Face.

Us: Wha… Wow. Really? Did he get in trouble?

Little Face, in a tone that rung only of justification: Just. Kidding.

Little Face had a birthday between Christmas and New Year’s Day. She was really excited to turn four, and had been looking forward to it for weeks. We didn’t plan a big party this year, but Little Face chose Chinese food as the proper meal for a small acknowledgment of the day. In addition to the ‘rents, her auntie, uncle, and buddy Mr. J helped her celebrate the occasion. The kids also enjoyed a couple of hours of acting like maniacs in the hallowed halls of a Chuck E Cheese establishment. We brought our own cake, a homemade lemon cake baked in Little Face’s Christmas gift from Grandpa - a pan in the shape of a castle. Little Face was going to bake it herself, but she took too long fighting her nap that day. She did get to dust on the powdered sugar snow, and was very happy about that.

Little Face was talking to Grandpa a couple of days before her 4th birthday and we caught some of what she was saying, “…Friday is my birthday and I’ll be four. Then, time for a shot.” She was really prepared for her immunization; we’d been talking about it for awhile so she wouldn’t be scared. Even though she was a little nervous, she knew she was going to be fine because, like she would have told you, “it only feels like a little pinch”. No problem.

At her four-year-old check-up at the doctor’s office she was informed that she would, in fact, get four shots and not just one. Cue inconsolable, slasher-movie-style screaming. Cue unstoppable feet ninja-kicking the nurse. And cue mommy’s near nervous breakdown (Daddy was at work and not able to attend this little outing). The less-dramatic (but more parent-pride inducing) news from this visit was that Little Face scores like a 5.75 - 6 year-old on tests that measure her abilities, level of comprehension, and motor skills. At this appointment she was 43.5 inches tall (off the charts) and weighed 42.5 pounds (95th%).

Little Face also had to get some bloodwork done for this year’s visit. Here we go again. We had done a good job of getting her ready for this, but how could she trust us after we were so wrong the last time? This time she was even more anxious because of the traumatizing experience of a few days ago. Long story short: Little Face was EXTREMELY nervous. She screamed bloody murder right in the face of one of the two orderlies who had to attend to her while Daddy controlled her body and legs (no more bruised shins for the nursing staff, please), and then she completely stopped as soon as the butterfly needle was in and doing its job. She just sat and watched as her blood went through the little hose attached to the back of the butterfly and into the collection tubes. The nurses told us after that this little scenario plays itself out all the time - kids scream from being scared, but as soon as they feel that the needle doesn’t hurt, they calm down. She apologized to the staff for screaming at them and they gave her a sticker. Then she gathered up all her hair clips and accessories strewn about the room in the struggle, and finally got to sample her saber-sized, bubble gum flavored lolly - a gift from her aunties, but we’d been saving it just for this occasion.

She never made a dent!

Happy Christmas or December 25th, if that is more your bag! A Week-end Update with Little Face ahead, but first a quick reminder that tomorrow is Boxing Day. Please be kind and recognise the service professionals in your life, especially the mail carriers who were still working their arses off on Christmas Eve (in the evening!) after the President had already given the federal government the day off. Thank you.

Now, onward to the recap of our Executively Ordered four-day Christmas week-end:

It was a mad dash of a marathon to Christmas, filled with frenzied last-minute shopping, urban excursions, a sleep-over, and a near-sleep-over when Little Face pooped out of a party early. Little Face’s grandmother kept the tot one night so that Mum and Dad could attend a concert in the city. Not only had Little Face struck gold with a span with Gran, but she also had taken a few brave turns on the local carousel. According to herself, she “was not even scared” when she rode on a horse that went up and down while the carousel turned.

Little Face was most benevolent when the parents came to claim her next day, allowing them to bring her home. The mercy could have been induced by the CD they brought back to her from the show, though. Here is her first artist-signed album by a fantastic performer:

After 24 days of advent calendar chocolates for breakfast, Christmas day had finally arrived and guess who did not bring it up? No, Father and Mother actually did mention it a few times, even prompted her with quizzes about Christmas day traditions. Still Little Face went about her routine Christmas morning, for what we suppose is the last time, for a full hour and forty-five minutes.

Eventually, whilst helping to make breakfast, she asked for a piece of Halloween candy from the remaining stash. The tree ornament sized m&m that she tucked into instead finally rang the bell in her head and the paper slashing began.

Many thanks to all our contributors! She’s chuffed by all the generous attention and exciting new things and is just now getting some real sleep for the first time today. We hope you’ve had a lovely holiday, too!

Little Face got a last look this year at her beloved Auntie S. and Uncle C. before they were to head off for vacation. We met our friends at the Botanic Garden to check out the holiday displays, which were set up beautifully with electric trains running around all-organic replicas of some of the major structures in the city. Little Face’s dear old buddy, Mr. B, had a day off of his own jet-setting and was able to join us.

On top of having run of the garden in the early morning, the kids sniffed every flower and herb they could stick their faces in - cardamom and tarragon were considerable hits. They also checked out the jungle and got to make Christmas tree ornaments from seeds and leaves, a conservatory-sanctioned activity.

After a bite to eat, we hit a holiday street market where we encountered two of Little Face’s biggest foes: a gingerbread cookie girl and a nutcracker. The adrenaline rush did her in once again, and she completely crashed out at nap time when we returned home.

Walking cookie girls yield white knuckles and her daddy’s head in a vice grip.